I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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