Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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