i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
My cat gives me a boner
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
