I wish my penis had an off switch
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
