No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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