i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Randomize
