if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
honey bunches of taint.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
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