ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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