Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
