Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
