i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I love you. Go after that dick
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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