i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
