I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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