You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Well I just put wine in my tea
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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