tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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