well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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