Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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