The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
