so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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