ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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