Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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