If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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