And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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