Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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