how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
