fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
