fuck your aforementioned shoe
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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