Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
