I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
