White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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