I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You are the jesus of drinking
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
