If i come over, it means nothing
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
