i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
