well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
