Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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