were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Sorry about my life...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
