She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Randomize
