ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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