my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
