I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
