its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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