Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
