U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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