I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
