I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
