What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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