There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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