kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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