drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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