I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
