Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
