How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i believe in u and ur pee
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
