i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
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